


the one thing poe dameron was sure of

by bellarkeark



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Implied Poe Dameron/Finn, M/M, Mental Instability, No Dialogue, POV Poe Dameron, angsty Poe, ooc poe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 10:54:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5964658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellarkeark/pseuds/bellarkeark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe Dameron is not who everyone thinks he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the one thing poe dameron was sure of

**Author's Note:**

> this one is. odd.   
> i've never written a fic like this before. it's really short and from poe's pov and it's also very sad, i guess.   
> if you were expecting to read about some quality finnpoe interaction then this is not the fic for u!  
> if, however, you were expecting to read about how poe dameron's life is a mess and the only thing that's right in it is finn, then this is exactly where u need to be right now!
> 
> hope you enjoy.

  Poe Dameron was not a man of many secrets. He was quite open with his friends, always spoke his mind, was confident in his words and in his actions. Frank and assertive, those were traits that people associated with him.

  But Poe Dameron was also a very good actor. Because the well-loved, renowned pilot always told one truth to three lies, and his confidence was as fake as summer snow. Second-guessing himself had become second nature, and overthinking burdened his mind more often than not.

  And then he met Finn.

  Finn was everything Poe was not: real, honest, not afraid to show the world who he truly was. Finn didn’t have walls wrapped tightly around his heart and voices in his head that saw it necessary to constantly remind him that he wasn’t good enough. Finn didn’t have to pretend. That’s why Poe fell in love with him.

  He didn’t really notice it at first. He still wasn’t sure what love felt like, and so he shrugged off the way his heart fluttered at the sight of Finn as a normal thing to happen when you simply found someone attractive. Poe knew that simple attraction wasn’t love. Otherwise that would mean that he was in love with every handsome stranger he ever passed on the streets, and most of his friends too.

  But then Poe found himself thinking way too often about Finn. About his face. His eyes. His lips. The way his hands slightly trembled when he got excited about something, and how smiles seemed to always come easily to him. He found himself blushing whenever Finn said his name, or touched his shoulder lightly in a friendly manner.

  It was scary, though. It was scary because Poe never knew how to act around Finn, because he wanted to show Finn the side of himself that most people didn’t know existed. He wanted to show Finn the mess he was on the inside, wanted Finn to hold him in his arms and tell him that he would always love him, no matter what.

  He wasn’t really able to ignore the voices in his head, though, asking _What if? What if he won’t love you? What if you’re too big of a mess to handle?_  Poe wanted to scream at them, tell them that Finn wasn’t the kind of person to give up on the people he loved, but then the voices sneered at him and made him wonder whether Finn actually loved him or not.

  So Poe kept his feelings to himself. He went on with his life. During the day he wore his fake confidence like an old well-worn sweater, and at night when he was alone he took it off again and let himself fall apart. Let the voices in his head shut out his own.

  Poe hated that. He hated feeling so hopeless, so unloved. But he couldn’t help it. Because, no matter how much he willed that fake confidence to rub off on him and become real, he silently agreed with that part of his brain that told him he was worth nothing. He knew it was right. He knew that Finn didn’t love him. But he also knew that he loved Finn. If there was anything Poe Dameron knew for sure, it was that he loved – no, that he was _in love_ , with Finn.


End file.
